Paul writes 1 Corinthians as what is really his second letter to them. The first half of this letter includes a series of rebukes and encouraging exhortations to urge them to spiritual maturity, holiness, and true wisdom. Now, beginning with chapter 7, Paul responds to a letter they wrote to him, in which they asked a number of questions that required Paul’s clarification. This chapter is all about marriage, and specifically Paul’s preference that we remain as we are (as in contentment in whatever marriage circumstance you find yourself). Calvin comments: “So far as we may conjecture from Paul’s words, a superstitious notion had become prevalent among the Corinthians of this nature – that virginity was a distinguished, and in a manner angelic virtue, so that marriage was held by them in contempt, as though it had been a profane thing. With the view of removing this error, he teaches that every one must consider what his gift is, and not strive in this matter beyond his ability, inasmuch as all have not the same calling. Accordingly he shows who they are that may abstain from marriage, and what ought to be the design of abstaining from it; and on the other hand, who they are that ought to enter into the married state, and what is the true principle of Christian marriage.” Let’s take a look.
Marriage
1Now for the matters you wrote about: It is good for a man not to marry.[1] 2But since there is so much immorality, each man should have his own wife, and each woman her own husband. 3The husband should fulfill his marital duty to his wife, and likewise the wife to her husband. 4The wife's body does not belong to her alone but also to her husband. In the same way, the husband's body does not belong to him alone but also to his wife. 5Do not deprive each other except by mutual consent and for a time, so that you may devote yourselves to prayer. Then come together again so that Satan will not tempt you because of your lack of self-control. 6I say this as a concession, not as a command. 7I wish that all men were as I am. But each man has his own gift from God; one has this gift, another has that.
8Now to the unmarried and the widows I say: It is good for them to stay unmarried, as I am. 9But if they cannot control themselves, they should marry, for it is better to marry than to burn with passion.
10To the married I give this command (not I, but the Lord): A wife must not separate from her husband. 11But if she does, she must remain unmarried or else be reconciled to her husband. And a husband must not divorce his wife.
12To the rest I say this (I, not the Lord): If any brother has a wife who is not a believer and she is willing to live with him, he must not divorce her. 13And if a woman has a husband who is not a believer and he is willing to live with her, she must not divorce him. 14For the unbelieving husband has been sanctified through his wife, and the unbelieving wife has been sanctified through her believing husband. Otherwise your children would be unclean, but as it is, they are holy.
15But if the unbeliever leaves, let him do so. A believing man or woman is not bound in such circumstances; God has called us to live in peace. 16How do you know, wife, whether you will save your husband? Or, how do you know, husband, whether you will save your wife?
The Greco-Roman culture was saturated with sexual immorality, meaningless marriages, and the commonality of multiple divorces, so it comes as no surprise that the Corinthians wanted to know the proper stance for Christians on marriage and sex. The word translated “marry” by the NIV in v1 is a Jewish euphemism for sexual relations. Technically, and your footnote may point this out, they asked Paul, “Is it good to abstain from sex?” And it appears that they’re already thinking that the answer is, “Yes.” Perhaps this came from some ascetic Christians seeking to avoid promiscuity, but they, unlike the Corinthian believers who arrogantly overlooked sexual sin in chapter 5, went too far, likely seeing sex as completely negative, even in the bounds of a Biblical marriage.
Culture, at different times and places, has wavered back and forth from mandating to mocking marriage, and worldly people have gone along with their secular society. Biblically speaking, celibacy must never be commanded, though a person may rightly choose it. Likewise for abstinence in marriage, though even then only by mutual consent and for a short time for the sake of prayer. There were likely unequally yoked better halves wondering if they should become celibate rather than copulate with their unbelieving spouses. Thus Paul, who is way ahead of the culture in seeing sex as beneficial for both man and woman within the marriage relationship, answers carefully (v2-6), “as a concession, not as a command,” agreeing that there are occasions where celibacy and abstinence is best, but also acknowledging that sex is good in the marriage relationship (one man for one woman (v2)), especially since there is so much infidelity and lust and fornication in the world. One commentator concludes his thoughts here, saying, “God sees marriage as sacred, He sees the sexual union as sacred, He sees it as pure, proper; but He also sees it, Paul is saying, as obligatory – it’s a privilege, it’s a pleasure, but it is also a responsibility in the marriage bond!”
In v6-9, I think Paul wishes that sex wasn’t an issue; it would be best if all would abstain, like him, for the sake of gospel ministry. But he knows that’s not what God intended. He also sees other reasons for marrying besides controlling lust that do not apply specifically to the Corinthians questions (Ephesians 5:22-33; 1 Timothy 3:2; 4:3). Down in v26, Paul speaks of “the present crisis,” and many scholars think there were some series complications to these instructions for the Corinthians that, if we knew about them, might change our perspective on what Paul is saying (Jeremiah 16:1-4). For example, if Christians were being fed to the lions, then it might be better for you not to seek a marriage partner at the moment.
In v10, Paul appeals directly to the command of Jesus from Mark 10:1-12. But then he goes on in v12-16 to discuss more difficult circumstances that Jesus never specifically addressed. Thus we read his parenthetical distinctions, “not I, but the Lord,” and “I, not the Lord.” Nevertheless, we shouldn’t conclude that Paul’s instructions are not authoritative (1 Corinthians 14:37); he simply speaks for the Lord where the Lord had not spoken previously.
Having skipped v11 for a moment, we come back to it: Spousal desertion (the Greek word in v10-11a is “separation,” which is permitted in dire circumstances, but in v11b, it’s “divorce,” which is not allowed) does not mean that a person can remarry. The covenant is until death; but there is an exception explained in v12-16 – unequally yoked marriages. If the unbelieving spouse is the deserter, then the marriage may be considered dissolved, and the believer may remarry (though Paul would recommend celibacy), for God grants peace (v15). And considering v14, even if only one spouse is a believer, the children of that mixed household are set apart as holy, to be considered as believers. It doesn’t mean they are certainly saved, but there is a distinction in their lives, for they are associated with a believer, and that association is important (Exodus 29:37). This verse is used to support infant baptism.
The bottom line for Paul is what he told the Thessalonians: “It is God’s will that you should be sanctified: that you should avoid sexual immorality; that each of you should learn to control your own body in a way that is holy and honorable, not in passionate lust like the pagans, who do not know God; and that in this matter no one should wrong or take advantage of a brother or sister. The Lord will punish all those who commit such sins, as we told you and warned you before. For God did not call us to be impure, but to live a holy life. Therefore, anyone who rejects this instruction does not reject a human being but God, the very God who gives you His Holy Spirit” (1 Thessalonians 4:3-8).
17Nevertheless, each one should retain the place in life that the Lord assigned to him and to which God has called him. This is the rule I lay down in all the churches. 18Was a man already circumcised when he was called? He should not become uncircumcised. Was a man uncircumcised when he was called? He should not be circumcised. 19Circumcision is nothing and uncircumcision is nothing. Keeping God's commands is what counts. 20Each one should remain in the situation which he was in when God called him. 21Were you a slave when you were called? Don't let it trouble you--although if you can gain your freedom, do so. 22For he who was a slave when he was called by the Lord is the Lord's freedman; similarly, he who was a free man when he was called is Christ's slave. 23You were bought at a price; do not become slaves of men. 24Brothers, each man, as responsible to God, should remain in the situation God called him to.
25Now about virgins: I have no command from the Lord, but I give a judgment as one who by the Lord's mercy is trustworthy. 26Because of the present crisis, I think that it is good for you to remain as you are. 27Are you married? Do not seek a divorce. Are you unmarried? Do not look for a wife. 28But if you do marry, you have not sinned; and if a virgin marries, she has not sinned. But those who marry will face many troubles in this life, and I want to spare you this.
29What I mean, brothers, is that the time is short. From now on those who have wives should live as if they had none; 30those who mourn, as if they did not; those who are happy, as if they were not; those who buy something, as if it were not theirs to keep; 31those who use the things of the world, as if not engrossed in them. For this world in its present form is passing away.
Digressing for a moment, Paul, in v17-24, sets forth a principle to be considered in social circumstances – becoming a believer doesn’t require a change in social status, marital status, or ethnic status (v8, 20, 26). One commentator says, “Don’t be in a hurry to change your external circumstances, because now that you’re saved your setting has become relevant to your Christianity – and the fact is this, reading between the lines, God in His sovereignty has saved you at that moment in time, in that situation, to be in that scenario for your good and the good of others… The situation becomes sanctified to you… There’s nothing secular anymore to the believer… You can’t divide the secular from the spiritual, but everything becomes spiritual to you and sanctified to you because of your changed relationship with God!”
Paul does, however, encourage slaves to seek freedom (v21) if possible; in other words, if the opportunity arises for a slave to be freed, he ought to take it. But he ought to be content as a new creation in Christ regardless if slave or free. The point is to be content regardless of your circumstances (1 Corinthians 10:10) and to remember whose you are (v22-23). The statement in v19 is paralleled in Galatians 5:6 and Galatians 6:15. “Keeping God’s commands” – spiritually speaking – “is what counts.”
One preacher told this story: “Once upon a time there was a stonecutter who lived alone. Though he had acquired great skills he was very poor, he lived in a tiny bamboo hut and wore tattered clothing. One day as a stonecutter he worked with his hammer and chisel upon a huge stone, and he heard a crowd gathering along streets. By their shouts he could tell that the King was coming to visit his humble village, and joining in the procession the stonecutter gazed in awe as the king, dressed in marvelous silk, was greeted by his subjects. ‘Oh, how I wish I had the power and glory of the King,’ he thought, ‘He has soldiers at his command, there is no one more powerful than the King.’ His cry was heard in heaven, and immediately the humble stonecutter was transformed into a powerful King. He found himself riding on a great horse, waving at the crowds of people who had flocked to see him. ‘This is power,’ he thought. As the summer progressed, however, the new king watched the effects of the heat upon his people. Men and animals became weary in the summer sun, the plants withered under the powerful rays of the sun, and as he looked at the sky, the new king realized that the sun was more powerful than the earthly rulers. ‘How I wish I were as powerful as that,’ he thought, ‘I wish I were the sun.’ Immediately his wish was granted, and the stonecutter relished his new role as the sun. He gloried in the power he felt as he surveyed the kingdoms below. He sent his bright rays to the earth, he watched kings and princes hide under their parasols, he watched as powerful warriors became weak under his gaze; even the crops in the field were under his command. Then one day a tiny cloud moved over the land, shielding the earth from the sun’s bright rays. Seeing that here was something more powerful, he thought: ‘I want very much to be a cloud.’ Again his wish was granted, he blocked the sun himself – he felt so important, he gathered all his strength becoming a gigantic cloud, and he began to pour down rain on the earth. Rivers that were formed previously were no more, and water flooded the streets of the cities and the farmland – everything, trees, animals, people, seemed to be awed by his power. Only the massive rocks were unswayed. Again he had discovered something more powerful than he – ‘There is nothing,’ he thought, ‘as powerful as a rock, how I wish I where a huge stone’ – and his wish was granted. As a stone, there he sat in the countryside, motionless and powerful, unmoved by sun or wind or rain – and he felt exempt from all the forces that shaped the existence of those around him. Then one day a man approached carrying a bag. When he stopped, he pulled out a chisel and a hammer, and he began to chip away at the rock. Realizing that the man with the tools was more powerful than any rock, he cried out: ‘Oh, I want to be a stonecutter.’ Once again the heavens heard his cry, and he became a stonecutter; once again he lived in a bamboo hut and made his living with hammer and chisel – but this time he was content.”
Paul starts a new but related topic in v25. He gives his opinion to remain unmarried as an opinion; it’s not a command (v28,38). And he qualifies that opinion by noting the stressful times (v26). Leon Morris put it well when he said, “When high seas are raging, it is no time for changing ships.” Paul says, “Remain as you are.” And that’s important, because married people may have wanted to divorce to better serve the Lord. Paul says, “Do not seek a divorce” (v27). Perhaps Paul, who may have been married and lost his spouse, wants to spare the single folks the pain of losing a spouse (v28).
Revisiting “the present crisis” (v26), and combining it with “many troubles in this life” (v28), and “the time is short” (v29), we’ve already noted that most scholars claim that Paul is referring to a specific tumultuous time of persecution in Corinth; others believe Paul is referring to the end times, this present evil age, in general. Whichever the case may be, the point is that alertness and urgency are priorities; there is no time to waste (v29-31; Romans 13:11-12). And that’s why Paul says in v29-31, “From now on those who have wives should live as if they had none; those who mourn, as if they did not; those who are happy, as if they were not; those who buy something, as if it were not theirs to keep; those who use the things of the world, as if not engrossed in them. For this world in its present form is passing away.”
Paul tells the Corinthian believers, in light of the times and perhaps their shortened life expectancy, to do five things: (1) live as if they were single (military duty; 2 Samuel 11:10-13); (2) live without sorrow (“Sorrow must not be allowed to engulf the soul so that we become totally self-centered and our service for the Lord ceases”); (3) don’t be concerned with happiness (exercise emotional control, avoiding the high highs and the low lows, so that service to God is not negatively affected); (4) shun materialism and hoarding (we can’t take it with us when we die); and (5) live in the world, but be not of the world (“In times of affluence, ease, permissiveness and inordinate self-acceptance, it is easy to live for pleasure.” To live for more leisure, more recreation, more holidays, more comfortable homes, earlier retirement, occupying these interests often come at the expense of spiritual neglect). All of these things – even marriage – will pass away, but the Kingdom of God is eternal. Seek first the Kingdom (Matthew 6:33)…
32I would like you to be free from concern. An unmarried man is concerned about the Lord's affairs--how he can please the Lord. 33But a married man is concerned about the affairs of this world--how he can please his wife-- 34and his interests are divided. An unmarried woman or virgin is concerned about the Lord's affairs: Her aim is to be devoted to the Lord in both body and spirit. But a married woman is concerned about the affairs of this world--how she can please her husband. 35I am saying this for your own good, not to restrict you, but that you may live in a right way in undivided devotion to the Lord.
36If anyone thinks he is acting improperly toward the virgin he is engaged to, and if she is getting along in years and he feels he ought to marry, he should do as he wants. He is not sinning. They should get married. 37But the man who has settled the matter in his own mind, who is under no compulsion but has control over his own will, and who has made up his mind not to marry the virgin--this man also does the right thing. 38So then, he who marries the virgin does right, but he who does not marry her does even better.[2]
39A woman is bound to her husband as long as he lives. But if her husband dies, she is free to marry anyone she wishes, but he must belong to the Lord. 40In my judgment, she is happier if she stays as she is--and I think that I too have the Spirit of God.
Paul wants no one to worry about all of this stuff (v32). But being married makes that difficult, as you have been given the charge to take care of your family. Devotion to the Lord (v35) is the key, and that can be done in many ways, but not efficiently when we’re worrying about it all the time.
Paul yields a lengthy parenthetical remark in v36-38, and there are two ways to view his comments: He could be speaking about men who have deferred marriage to their fiancées for some reason; or he could be speaking about fathers who won’t allow their daughters to marry for some reason. The conclusion is that both marriage and singleness are good, but Paul prefers the latter for its benefits to ministry. And Paul, again, is biased here, giving his opinion (v35). Certainly singleness for selfishness, apart from ministry devotion, is not the better choice.
Paul uses the word “bound” in v39 pointing out that marriage is for life. But if one spouse dies, the living spouse is free to marry another believer or remain single, which Paul prefers. Concluding this chapter on marriage and contentment, notice Hebrews 13:4-6: “Marriage should be honored by all, and the marriage bed kept pure, for God will judge the adulterer and all the sexually immoral. Keep your lives free from the love of money and be content with what you have, because God has said, ‘Never will I leave you; never will I forsake you’ [Deuteronomy 31:6]. So we say with confidence, ‘The Lord is my helper; I will not be afraid. What can mere mortals do to me’ [Psalm 118:6-7]?”
Footnotes
- 7:1 Or "It is good for a man not to have sexual relations with a woman."
- 7:36-38 Or 36 If anyone thinks he is not treating his daughter properly, and if she is getting along in years, and he feels she ought to marry, he should do as he wants. He is not sinning. He should let her get married. 37 But the man who has settled the matter in his own mind, who is under no compulsion but has control over his own will, and who has made up his mind to keep the virgin unmarried--this man also does the right thing. 38 So then, he who gives his virgin in marriage does right, but he who does not give her in marriage does even better.
Bible text from Gospelcom.net. Copyright 1973, 1978, 1984 by International Bible Society.